


Pygoscelis Antarcticus

by 221blackandwhitestripes



Series: Riddlebird Week 2018 [5]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Gotham (TV)
Genre: 'Cause its dead, Bickering, Canon? What Canon?, Dadwald, Dadward, Day Five: Pets/Animals, Domestic Fluff, Ed loves him anyway, Established Relationship, Fluff, Future Fic, I'm very sick and I have a fever, M/M, Married Couple, Nostalgia, Oswald is very extra, Penguins, Riddlebird Week, Short & Sweet, Sorry Canon can't come to the phone right now, Sweet, Why? Oh!, Zoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 06:14:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14928726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/221blackandwhitestripes/pseuds/221blackandwhitestripes
Summary: Edward Nygma and Oswald Cobblepot take their son Martin out for a day at Gotham Zoo.Riddlebird Week, Day Five: Pets/Animals





	Pygoscelis Antarcticus

**Author's Note:**

> It took me a while to decide what to do for this, but ultimately I wanted to do something short and fluffy. I know, it's shocking. I'm secretly a romantic. Anyway, enjoy this!
> 
> (Also: I'm very sick right now and not entirely sure if this is a fever dream. Winter in New Zealand is a travesty)

_“Must he wear that every time we go out?”_ Martin signed, mouth turned down into a disgruntled frown.

Ed smiled indulgently. The boy was so easy to warm to, so similar to Oswald and himself that he often forgot the fact they'd ever adopted him in the first place.

 _“We both know why he wears it. He likes to be recognised,”_ Ed signed back, rolling his eyes. To be fair though, Edward could understand the boy’s embarrassment. Oswald was dressed to the nines in a well-fitted, tailored black and white suit, with a pearl waistcoat and actual tails, not to mention his unnecessarily tall top hat, Italian crafted shoes and freaking _monocle._ And, where were they? Well, they were at the zoo. The _zoo_.

“Did you even try to restrain yourself?” Ed hissed into Oswald’s ear when he was sure Martin wasn’t looking.

“Of course not, you know me better than that, Eddie,” Oswald replied blandly, his following smile smug and cat-like.

“How is it that I can manage to walk around in normal-people clothes, yet you can’t even bear to part with a thin piece of glass that does literally nothing for your vision?” Ed asked exasperatedly, crossing his arms as they stepped forward in line.

“Three impressively meticulous reasons,” Oswald replied, lifting up a hand. “One, You are wearing a green sweater, dark green trouser sand a checkered green shirt.”

“But, I-”

“Two,” Oswald snapped, two fingers raised now, “I know for a fact that you are wearing question-mark socks, which means-”

“They’re socks!” Ed cried, talking over him, “Who could possibly-”

“And _three_ ,” Oswald continued, his annoyed tone cutting Edward off. “You don’t need a costume. Everyone already knows that Ed Nygma is the ‘Riddler’.”

Ed gasped, affronted. “They do _not_ ,” Ed spat. “Th-they may _suspect_ me, but they, in no way, know for sure that I’m-”

“Excuse me, sir,” Oswald tapped the shoulder of the person in front of him. “Do you happen to know the real name of the man known as ‘The Riddler’?”

“Of course,” The man replied, “It’s Edward Nygma!”

“Very well done, Sir,” Oswald praised, tilting his head condescendingly whilst shooting Ed a bitter glance which he promptly ignored.

“You wouldn’t happen to be the Penguin by any chance?” The stranger asked, turning fully to face Oswald.

“Perhaps,” Oswald smirked.

“Wow, a real celebrity!” The man gushed, holding his hand out. “It is mighty good to meet you, sir, I’m Mark Gruffudd.”

“Hello, Mr Gruffudd,” Oswald beamed, shaking the man’s hand. “May I ask, how did you recognise me?”

“Why, what you’re wearing, of course!” The man crowed. “Only a man as impeccably dressed as you could be the real Penguin, a man who is very splendid if I say so myself.”

“Oh, please,” Ed scoffed, rolling his eyes as he stepped closer to the stranger. “You do realize this man could gut you in an instant? He’s a ruthless murderer.”

The man stared at Ed with wide, concerned eyes, as if _Ed_ was the crazy one here.

“Oh, Eddie,” Oswald chuckled darkly, clamping a hand down on his shoulder as he turned back to the stranger. “You must understand, sir, this is _Gotham_. Anything could happen here. I could be a violent murderer, Batman could be the richest man in America. But we both know none of those things is true.”

“Of course,” The man nodded to himself, turning back around as the line moved again. 

Ed sighed, rolling his eyes again, only to notice Martin staring at them with wide eyes and an open mouth.

“How much did you hear?” Ed asked.

_“All of it.”_

Ed winced. “ _Will an hour with the machine guns be enough for you to pretend it never happened?”_ He signed.

Martin nodded emphatically. Ed sighed in relief, turning back to Oswald.

“If you’re so bent on being recognisable, why don’t you put it to good use and help us cut the line at _least._ ”

“As you wish,” Oswald replied.

♠ ♠ ♠

“Was that really necessary?” Ed huffed, crossing his arms as he stalked down the stupid fake zoo-streets with animal puns for street names.

“You asked me!” Oswald squawked.

“Yeah, but would it have killed you to lose the bravado?” Ed asked, lips twisting in irritation when Oswald merely shrugged. He looked down when he felt a hand tugging insistently on his sleeve. “What is it, Martin?”

 _“Can we visit the giraffes. They feed them in ten minutes, and sometimes they let the visitors do it,”_ the boy signed.

 _“Of course,”_ Ed replied, turning back to Oswald to make sure he’d caught that.

“As long as you’re happy,” Oswald assured Martin.

“How come I never get that option?” Ed grumbled to himself.

“Perhaps you would if you stopped grizzling all the time,” Oswald replied breezily.

“You’re just upset because you married a man who’s smarter than you,” Ed snorted derisively, ignoring Martin’s immediate reaction to slap his forehead with his palm.

“You may be book smart, husband, but I am the one with the entire city eating out of the palm of my hand. Even the Bat has nothing on me, and I’m not about to give him anything.”

“Yes, well,” Ed blinked as he tried to form a good comeback. “I have cool henchwomen.”

“Oh, _please_ ,” Oswald rolled his eyes. “Oh. Sorry, Martin.”

Ed quickly snapped his gaze back to the boy, wincing at his pouting expression.

“Yes, we’re sorry. We don’t mean anything by it. I love your father, you know that, right?” Ed prompted, relief washing over him at Martin’s nod. “We just like to bicker is all. People do that sometimes when they love each other.”

“Eddie’s right, of course,” Oswald smiled up at him before turning back to their son. “Now, let’s go see those giraffes!”

♠ ♠ ♠

“Slow down, Martin!” Ed insisted, unable to contain his smile despite his stern words as Martin finally stopped signing at a crazy speed to return to a pace Ed could actually understand.

_“I’ve never been so close to one before! And it actually licked me! It was so friendly! Do you think all giraffes are like that?”_

“Well-” Ed began doubtfully.

_“It was so much fun, we need to come here again so I can say hi to the giraffes. My favourite one was Mindy, did you see Mindy?”_

Ed laughed as the boy continued to sign, not really taking notice in Ed’s reactions and more absorbed in getting the words out as soon as possible.

“Here,” Oswald announced, appearing in front of them with three ice-creams in hand. “You would not believe how close I was to losing these. Children and sugar do not make dignified specimens at all.”

“Unless they’re Martin,” Ed added, grinning down at the boy proudly.

 _“-how cool it would be to ride one. Don’t you think it’d be cool? People ride elephants and camels too, I bet they’d let us ride giraffes. I think Mindy would be the easiest to-”_

“Martin, honey,” Ed prompted, taking the salted caramel ice cream to wave it in front of the boy’s nose. Martin took it eagerly, licking at the ice cream as he tried and failed to continue signing. “Don’t worry, I understand,” Ed assured him with a wink. “I’ll make sure we study giraffes this week.”

Martin pumped his free hand into the air before returning to the important task of consuming his ice-cream in record time.

“So, where to next?” Ed asked Oswald, taking away the mint-choc-chip ice cream and taking a bite. He grinned as Oswald winced, no one would guess that The Penguin himself would be a man with sensitive teeth.

“I was thinking we could visit the penguins,” Oswald answered, his tone too flippant and casual, still portraying his underlying anxiousness.

“Of course, we can visit the penguins,” Ed murmured, his heart thudding as he stared into Oswald’s eyes. It amazed him how Oswald could still make him feel this way, his breath quickening and his head swimming in the face of Oswald unabashed love.

“Good,” Oswald concluded decisively, beginning to lick at his own ice-cream, strawberry, of course. He turned to Martin for confirmation. Martin merely nodded before returning his attention to the taste of salted caramel.

♠ ♠ ♠

The underground observation room was cast in a blue hue, every surface saturated with cobalt as the water tinted the light that poured through. Ed smiled. Nothing had changed, not the steel railings or the suspiciously slippery concrete, not the various signs warning about hitting the tank or running on the wet floors. Although, Ed supposed, one thing _had_ changed.

His eyes slipped away as he watched Martin. The young boy had his nose pressed eagerly to the glass, his eyes wide as they followed the patterns the aquatic-birds swam in. Yes; things had changed, but only for the better.

But, god, had that day been _glorious_.

“You’re thinking about it, aren’t you?” Oswald's voice broke through Ed’s deep mulling, and he turned to him with a smile.

“How could I not?” He sniffed, self-consciously wiping his nose with his sleeve. Oswald frowned at him, hand reaching into his pocket to offer his handkerchief.

“Thank you,” Ed sniffled.

“You were making quite the scene,” Oswald huffed jokingly.

“Can you really say that? After last time?” Ed questioned dryly, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m the king; I can say whatever I want,” Oswald declared, straightening his shoulders proudly.

“Well, there’s no arguing with that,” Ed agreed. They smiled, holding each other’s gaze for a moment before they slowly went back to watching the penguins, diving and swooping through the water like that was their sky.

“Thank you,” Oswald said, breaking through Ed’s thoughts once again.

“What for?” Ed asked, turning back to him.

“For saying yes,” Oswald explained, smiling a watery kind of smile that loosened something in Ed’s chest. “And for marrying me. I couldn’t have beared it if you’d said no.”

“I expect I would be dead if I’d declined,” Ed joked, smiling at the resulting soft huff of laughter and Oswald’s rolling eyes. “But that’s not why I said yes.”

“Why did you, then?” Oswald asked.

“Well, it’s just as you said,” Ed answered. “I couldn’t bear not to.”

Ed smiled as Oswald’s lips met his own, soft and chaste at first before morphing into something deeper.

This was cut short by an annoyed Martin poking him hard in the ribs.

“Hey, hey,” Ed complained, rubbing his side.

 _“You promised you wouldn’t do that again,”_ Martin signed.

“Oh, Martin, we were just kissing,” Oswald rolled his eyes.

 _“Kissing is gross,”_ Martin signed. “ _You shouldn’t do it.”_

“Okay,” Ed agreed with a smirk, knowing that it was probably for the best to simply indulge Martin in this.

 _“I mean it,”_ Martin signed.

“We know,” Ed assured him. 

“Every time,” Oswald muttered as they walked away, following Martin as he decided their next destination.

“I know,” Ed laughed. And, despite all the ups and downs, he wouldn’t want anything else.

**Author's Note:**

> Yay! A happy story! Wow! As always, all kudos/comments are well loved and appreciated!


End file.
